Bear's Despair
by poi922
Summary: Harold Finch knew there was something wrong. He may have the correct diagnosis, but still not fully understood the underlying cause. (POV Bear; fill in scenes for 2.14)


"_Not this time, Bear…"_

Except for his name, he's not familiar with the meaning of all those sounds, but the humans' body language and the actions that accompany them are very clear: his pack members are leaving and he is not to be going with them. Bear stops bouncing on his toes, closes his mouth and sinks into a sit, watching silently as Glasses Man shuts the gate and then accompanies the Alpha down the stairs.

Why do they keep leaving him behind? He's a Good Boy…

There's no answer in the silence that now blankets the Big House, the slamming of the front door having marked the beginning to the rest of his day.

He sits at the metal barrier, sniffing the gate handle one more time. His pack. Their scent is still there, drifting in place even though both humans are gone…again. Their distinctive odors will linger for a few more minutes before the gentle air currents in the Big House dissipate those flavors until little is left in concentration. But he'll sit there, breathing in the fading scents until that happens.

Sighing deeply, he finally turns away from the gate, walking slowly to his bed once more. It's been this way for days now, his pack leaving almost as soon as they arrive in the Big House. He's given only a quick early morning walk in the park, long enough to relieve his bowels but not near long enough to parse all those messages along the route. And when he does attempt to investigate a particularly interesting communication, Glasses Man pulls him along, urging him to _hurry…hurry…hurry! _

How is he going to keep track of the activities in the area if he's not allowed to check all those important pee-mails? Analyzing possible dangers in his territory is part of his job to keep Glasses Man safe. To protect this pack member. That's what the Alpha wants him to do…that's what he is trained to do, and he does it very well! He's a Good Boy…

But he misses being active. A sedate walk in the park? Not even enough to cause a pant! He's a working dog, used to running and climbing and hunting bad people!

In his former job he was awake at dawn, then after a quick but full meal, was packed up and ready for the day's work assignment. In the early morning glow, he and Alpha-Handler would be bouncing around in a rumbling truck, traveling down a dusty road to investigate broken buildings, check out abandoned metal monsters, or sniff out treasure in some open field.

He wore a back pack then, just like the humans, and had his own glasses to keep out the blowing sand. Doggles, the humans called them. At first he objected to wearing them, but he quickly learned that without the glasses his eyes would burn in the wind. And besides, Alpha-Handler wore similar glasses. They were a team after all!

His work was interesting and satisfying. Sent into the broken buildings to search the rooms, he would report to Alpha-Handler what he found. Usually it was very frightened humans, mostly females with their young…and old males beyond their prime. He was very careful to move slowly when discovering these humans, inhaling their scents and keeping his mouth closed, not showing any teeth.

He'd stay near the doorway until Alpha Handler approached because these humans, especially the young pups, were always very afraid of him.  
The miasma of their anxiety and terror would fill the room and he understood their fear and though still cautious around them, was careful not to make these humans even more frightened.

But occasionally he would find the bad people, the young violent males. Scenting them long before he even entered the area where they hid, he could smell their rancid body odor, their turmoil, and their volatility. Their hate. And he could identify the familiar odor of the fire-sticks they carried, the ones that could explode and hurt his human. Occasionally he would have to grab one of these violent humans if there was a threat to harm Alpha-Handler.

But most of the time he needed only to alert his human pack of danger by barking and growling a warning, that being enough of a threat to force the violent ones into submission. It is really puzzling that humans oft times fear dogs more so than other humans… Very strange, because he's a Good Boy!

And what does he do now?

Wander around the Big House endless days in a row, mostly alone with the occasional short walk on city streets or in the park.

Not enough.

Not nearly enough.

Bear lies in his bed, his insides crawling, itching for activity. He can do what he's done many times in the past: pace up and down the aisles, or race around the room until he gets tired. And he might still do that if the urge to move becomes overwhelming.

But for now he gets up and trots to his hidey hole to retrieve his toy and other precious Items. The ball of course, and the long cloth thing Glasses Man used to wear around his neck. The sock, which still carries the Alpha's scent. A glove…and the new rawhide bone Alpha brought him. It takes several trips to gather them all and deposit them on his bed - these reminders of his pack. He lies down next to his treasures.

But it's not helping…the inside of his skin still twitches.

.

_'''''''''''_

.

"_Bear?_ _Apport…?"_

So many times recently he'd been left alone. Alpha has been absent for days and he sorely misses him every time he catches the The Tall Man's scent in the Big House. Alpha at least seemed to enjoy exercise and would take him along for extended runs, something the smaller human can't do with his injury…

Glasses Man had come back though – finally! - to spend time in the Big House with him. He was so happy to see the human, even if the Alpha wasn't with him. Maybe they would finally do something together: ride in the car or go to the park where he would be allowed to run free?

But it didn't happen. Again. Yes, the human participated in the greeting protocols, but then moved to the big chair to play with those black boxes once more. And Bear was left to lie in his bed – again. Something he'd been doing for such a long time already.

So now Glasses Man throws the ball, expecting him to …what?

_Apport…?_

Bear allows the ball to bounce in front of him and makes no move to return it to the human. He's not really interested in retrieving the ball in the Big House anymore; it doesn't allow him much room to stretch his muscles, and besides, the human always loses interest in the game long before he's ready to stop. So what's the use in even starting? He watches with disinterest as the ball rolls to a stop against the wall.

He really misses his old job…

Bear closes his eyes, eventually going to sleep, legs twitching in rhythm to a dream.

Of running…running…running…

_._

_____'''''''''''_

_._

_"__Bear…look… Mmmmm."_

The shadows have finally grown dark in the Big House. Glasses Man has put the food bowl on the floor in front of him, making a humming a sound evidently meant to tempt him to eat. But really? He hasn't even had the chance to work off his last meal and his muscles continue to twitch, reminding him of how long it's been since he's had any vigorous activity. Doesn't the Small Man understand? He needs to work.

He's a Good Boy…

But if he isn't given the opportunity for some brisk exercise soon he's going to start chewing the paper things on those shelves in frustration, even though last time he did that it displeased his human pack! He whines his despair, ignoring the human…and the food. With a sigh, he lays his head back on the floor.

He values his pack above his own life, but there are times when he wishes the humans would send him away to stay with that strange little human again. Little Man doesn't live in a Big House like this one, but does allow a dog on the couch. And the bed. And he's rather gotten to like the stringy soup, but more importantly, _that_ particular human can be easily intimidated into taking him outdoors and letting a dog run free…

.

_____'''''''''''_

.

"_Why didn't you bring Bear?"_

"_Bear didn't want to come. I read that if there is anxiety in the home it can make your pets become upset… _

_._

_____'''''''''''_

_._

It's been agonizing days, spending so little time outdoors and so much time just roaming around this big room. He's chewed his ball into pieces, right down to the rubber strings in the middle! Ripped the cloth thing into long strips. Gnawed the knuckle off the rawhide bone and nibbled a hole in the sock. Walked up and down the aisles in the Big House many, many times to keep from tearing up his bed…

He's even cataloged all the scents on the lower shelves again, just in case something changed and lingering especially over the shelf where Alpha had kept his fire sticks, leaving scents that remind him of his former work. The weapons are gone now but the odor of oil, and graphite, and burned carbon still lingers. So familiar. They bring back images of time past: riding in the truck, being sent into a field to find buried treasure, accompanying the Alpha-Handler on long hikes, scrambling over the rubble of broken buildings…

But that's all they are, images. He looks around the large room. Not real, not in this time. His job now is to keep Glasses Man safe for the Alpha, but there are no threats - and all he can do is lie on his bed! He's a Good Boy, but there is nothing for him to do here. He sighs again, and turns on his side.

.

_____'''''''''''_'

_._

"_Let's go, Bear"_

He perks his ears. _Go? _That's a sound he knows well. It means leaving the Big House and going for a walk. He'd ignored the last offer to _Go_, not interested in an abbreviated walk that would end in the frustration of not being able to pick up his messages. However, he does need to relieve himself now, so yes, he will _Go_...even if it means for just a little while. Better than lying here doing nothing all day…

Walking slowly to the gate and then sitting obediently, he waits for Glasses Man to affix the leash.

And it looks like Alpha is coming along! Well, that's different…the pack is going out together! Maybe he will be allowed to hunt bad people this time! He can do that.

He's a Good Boy!

.

_____'''''''''''_

.

"_What are we doing here, Finch? We have another Number?"_

"_No…a date."_

"_You got me a date?"_

"_Not you. Bear. He needs a friend…"_

They have taken the familiar trail to the park, with Glasses Man and Alpha conversing steadily along the way. Perhaps because the humans are so occupied with each other, he has been allowed to sniff and investigate the interesting scents all along the path.

So many messages, so much news! It's been so long since he's been allowed to sniff out the information that much of it has been deposited one top of another, or merged together. It takes longer when that happens…to separate all the odors and make sense of them.

Soon they will reach the open field where he has been allowed free to run free occasionally, especially when he stays with the strange Little Man. _That_ human would much rather sit on a bench and talk to females than pay attention to what a dog is doing! He likes that about the Little Man. That and the string soup put in his food bowl.

And now Glasses Man is removing the leash.

Interesting, since there's another dog on the opposite side of the path, next to its human female.

Bear looks at his two pack mates for the "free" command, overjoyed when he is signaled to _go ahead_…

The other canine telegraphs a willingness to play, but the human female has not let her pet off the leash. Well, that will not stop him! He runs past them both out into the field, aware the light haired dog is now sprinting after him, dragging the human by the leash.

But he doesn't slow down. No, not now!

Not now that he can finally run…run…run….and stop that itching under his skin!

.

End

* * *

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_Note:_ Though I've attempted to stay as true to canine nature as possible, I am claiming a certain amount of literary liberty in writing this as obviously a dog thinks very differently than do humans, and certainly not in our language!

And since dogs "live in the moment", with past behavior only triggered by a stimulus such as a scent, sound, or image, Bear's memories and the introspection on his prior life as a military asset is most likely anthropomorphism on my part.

What is true however, is that a working dog like Bear will become very agitated and destructive if not given an outlet for his high drive (energy). Given the opportunity, such a dog will bleed that pent-up energy with a vigorous activity such as running.

I can only imagine how the sedate life in the library must be driving Bear up the wall…!


End file.
